May 1, 2012

The song of the bright pearl

Searching for the lips that sang the song 
of deep passionate love,
I saw the bright pearl floating away,
and everything else felt worth losing.
Without turning around
to see what ive lost on my way,
i followed the addicting song
and took the pearl in my hands.
Deep in my heart, i sowed
feeding it day and night
with my love, joy and care.
I let my heart dance
at the rhythm of its song,
 my dreams grew around it.
But i heart its voice tremble
in my smothering embrace.
Why didn't i know, all this time
that the song was not sung for me.

March 21, 2010

Painful Love...

When a girl says she loves you, you just want to embrace her tight and shield her from all pain and sufferings and create a world full of love and happiness... 
But the stubborn wall of caste and religion is preventing me from this blissful embrace...
The longer i stand fighting the wall, the deeper she will drown in her own tears...

November 1, 2009

The Tale of a Thread


Started as a thin strand
feeble, flimsy and tender
each smiles and chats
adding more layers to it.
Slowly and happily,
it grew in size.
Adorned it with stories and pranks
we felt the rope shrink in length
getting thicker and stronger
with each beat of our hearts
bringing us closer
to continue the journey,
as a single beat of rhythm.
But the small fights and remarks
left deep cuts on the rope.
No matter how thick the rope grew around it,
it remained as the weakest links
sinfully waiting for that slightest of pulls.
And it happened;
the rope cut loose
and we both were left with our halves.
All that is left now
is the echo of the empty promises,
to remind our weeping hearts
Of how a thread grew into a rope.

October 21, 2009

A tag and an Award

I have been tagged by Aditi...

Here s the tag...

1.What is your current obsession?
Mafia Wars and Farmsville in FaceBook

2. What are you wearing today?
Black Jeans n T Shirt

3. What’s for dinner?
Watever i feel like eating..  :P

4. What’s the last thing you bought?
Aircel recharge coupon i guess

5. What are you listening to right now?
Oru mare ilaveyil neram - Ghajini(Tamil)

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
A very good friend  :)

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Anywhere in India, preferably in Kashmir

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Hmm... hw abt outerspace? ;) yeah, i had a craze for space science while at school  

10. Which language do you want to learn?
French :P

11. What’s your favourite quote?
"I cannot do everything but still I can do something, and I will not refuse to do the something i can do"

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
My parents n bro  ;)

13. What is your favourite colour?
Black and Red

14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet?
The Jeans Im wearing right now and a white T shirt with stripes

15. What is your dream job?
A web designer but unfortunately im an EEE stdnt, so have to do well in campus placements to get my dream realised.. 

16. What’s your favourite magazine?
Digit and Chip

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Im not sure on which but ill surely empty it in a flash  :D

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
Long T shirts

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
Hmm.. Paris Hilton

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?

21. What are you going to do after this?
No idea  :P

22. What are your favorite movies?
The Illusionist, The Prestige, Prefume - The story of a murderer, The Pursuit of Happiness, Thanmathra(Malayalam)

23.How many tabs are turned on in ur browser right now?
9: Asianet login page,Gmail, 2 tabs of Facebook( Home n Mafia Wars) and the rest blogs

24. What inspires you?
Success stories of great men.

25. Give us three styling tips that always work for you:
Be yourself, confident and truthful

26. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)?
Close ur eyes and pick one. Wait a minute, thats wat i always do... Next question  :P

27. Coffee or tea?

28. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
Walk away and try to free my mind. 

30. Which other blogs do you love visiting?
Look at the list on the right n ull see  ;)

31. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?

32. Favorite Season?

33. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
Well, i hav the responsibility to sent you back unharmed, so i wud rather not ;)

34. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
Ignore them, if they still bother you threten them and still they dont leave you, our good old punch on the nose wud do the trick. Believe me, it works.. :P

35. What are you afraid of the most?
Failure  :(

36:What brings a smile on your face instantly?
Naughty babies  :P

37:My Questinon: What is the first thing you do once uve booted ur system?
Run Firefox

Rules for those who are tagged:
Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.

I would love to pass on the tag and award to :

You might have noticed the change in my blog, if u havnt look at the address bar  ;)
Yeah! I ve bought a domain :D \:D/
I was thinking of doing this with my 50th post.. but well sometimes..ahem.. most times im kinda restless when it comes to things like this  ;)

October 13, 2009

The Enemy Within

"I have been wearing a mask for so long that it had been unremovably bonded to my soul. Now it cant be removed without leaving a deep and painful scar behind."

May be he is not as good as he believes.
May be the kind of emotions he shows are a means to deceive himself more than others - to gain trust in the tiny little voice inside him.
May be he had lost control and the strings have now become more real and visible.

He always felt that there was someone inside him -
someone who never trusts him, his intuitions, finds out sinful intentions for his friends actions making him turn a cynic eye on them. It forced him to see everything through a pessimistic view.It taught him to trust no one, not even himself.

At times, it takes full control over him, tears him apart and eats him raw

"But Im sure that one day i shall destroy you and I will enjoy see you wither away." He whispered with a smile on his ghastly face.

PS. I actually have no idea which category this writeup comes under. It not a story, Its not about me, Its just some random thoughts expressed in a crude way...
Ill come up with something worth reading in the next post..

September 27, 2009

Healing myself

This is not what I wanted. Sitting numb in the confined walls listening to an old fool dictate stuff I don’t give a shit about. I want to be free, free from all these tension and pressure, these rules and regulations, free from all these stress that suffocates me, things I’m forced to do. I’m fed up with the things I’ve sacrificed to get those I care the least about.
I want to be free like a bird, like a small animal, I want to fly away from all these madness to some remote village or anything where I can do whatever things my heart tells me to.
Inside the lecture room, I felt like shouting, screaming at the top of my voice, like jumping or kicking someone. I even kicked my friend sitting beside me in my frustration. I don’t know what was happening to me. It was something that had never happened to me before. All I knew was that I was broken. All I knew was if I don’t get out of this chaos soon, I would certainly go mad.
At the end of that period, I took my bag and got out. I walked back to my room not even caring to tell my friends about it. All I did was walk with my eyes on the ground and my mind somewhere far away. Before I knew it, I was back in my room and threw myself onto the bed. I didn’t even feel like responding to the messages and missed calls from my friends. I stayed there staring at the ceiling and the fan, trying to get everything out of my mind.
I was thinking of taking a week leave and going back to my home. But my attendance percentage didn’t allow that. I hated it when other things affected my decisions; I hated it when I felt like being inside a prison.
Why can’t I have all the controls?
At least it’s my life.
One thing was for sure: I’m not going to the damned place again - well, at least until I feel better.
I felt a little better lying there with nothing in my mind. By about 4, I was feeling kind of OK and was thinking of a sensible explanation to give to my friends who were always bothered about my bunking classes.
But the next morning, when I was getting ready to leave for college, the bad feeling crept back again into my mind. I didn’t want to go. But again, I never paid attention to the lectures. I always preferred studying from texts. More over sometime back, I lost the faith in the authenticity of those precious words coming out of the lecturer’s mouth.
I decided to get back to my bed again. I had lain there without having breakfast. I felt peaceful with the cool air from the fan massaging my body, the soft music from my mobile healing each and every broken pieces of me.
Looking out through the window, I watched the light blue sky through the small leaves of the trees, the way the leaves move when the cool breeze swept through them, I let the beauty of nature spread inside me. I just laid there looking at that tree, the grey trunk, the thin yet numerous branches, the birds resting on them. I felt so peaceful and happy seeing the white clouds roaming about in the clear sky.
I felt like I was on a vacation, visiting all the beautiful places on the planet. I thought of myself standing beside a beach with the sun’s rays and the cool breeze touching my face, in a beautiful garden with the sound of birds singing for me.
My mind was full of happy thoughts, no Norton’s theory or 8085 architecture or function overloading or Rotating Magnetic Field to haunt me in my dreams. If you haven’t heard of all these things, consider yourself lucky.
I was in that dreamland for about 3’o clock. Hunger or thirst never dared to wake me up from this dream. I felt rejuvenated. I was cured.
By 3:30 I got up and set out to Alif Hotel to have my breakfast or lunch or evening snack, back to the real world.

August 11, 2009

The Question

He slammed the door shut and stormed out. A warm smile waited for him outside. All his sorrows died away and a cool breeze swept through his heart. Smilingly he got into the cab with her.
Peeking through the bedroom window, a small girl asked a teary pair of eyes
"Where is daddy going, mamma?"

August 1, 2009

12 things to be accomplished in my twenties - Tagged by Deepika

Deepika had tagged me with the Dozen things in my twenties tag.. and here goes my list...

1. Get an Electrical Engg job.
Ive always wanted to have a software job. But lately there has been a change inside my head. Well.. my thoughts and tastes always varies.. for no reason at all. My mind never stands still, it always enjoys running around and trying different things. We have recently gone for some industrial visits and got the chance to see inside a few power stations and manufacturing centres (well.. Electrical Engg stuff ) Though i first saw it as boring, i now find it interesting and am getting this feeling of that being MY area. Ive never had this feeling before, having criticizing EEE stuff whenever i get a chance. So im hoping to get a job in a core Electrical company and im really hoping to get it before i change my mind again ;)

2. Buy an Alienware PC and Laptop

I couldnt take my eyes off this beauty when i was first shown a picture of it by my brother. From that moment ownwards it topped my wishlist.


Ban all dogs from leaving their houses and getting into the street. Those who have read some of my previous posts would know the reason ;)

4. Own a really powerful telescope.

5. Join the army and fight a war. When ever I see a war movie, i wish to join the army and fight a war... to experience it all.

6. Fall in love and get married

7. Bugee jumping from the tallest bridge (which ever it is..), sky diving, spend a night all alone in a dark jungle, travel in a hot air balloon, scuba diving (first i shd learn to swin well)

8.Attend a Linkin Park concert...

9. Slap a politician and get away.

10. Meet Stephan Hawking, Emma Watson, Edward Norton and Saurav Ganguly.

11. Get filthy rich :)
I dont think this needs any explanation.. ;)

12. Learn to write using my left hand. Im sure everyone agrees that writing with your left hand is really cool. And even more cooler thing is using both hands :D

And now i tag Shravan, Sowmi, Priya, Sneha and Jis Thomas

July 18, 2009

The Kiss - 55 Fiction


The smile from the sparkling eyes filled his heart with warmth and he felt helpless at the yearning desire to be together forever. The longing amativeness to make this sensuous soul his own intensified every second. Unable to hold back anymore, looking deep into those craving eyes, he leaned forward and kissed him.

First. I’m not gay.
Now bring back the eyebrows and continue reading.

I’m sure that all of you guys would agree that love (straight one...) is uncontrollable...
The urge to love and to be loved by another is unexplainable complicated and deep too. You would long for the attention of this person and would do anything to be with him/her forever. These feelings cannot always be shut down or ignored. These are something that is built into our system, technically the work of hormones.
So what if, somehow this same uncontrollable attraction is towards a person of the same gender? What can we do? Can we in any way blame them? I don't think so...

I came to know about homosexuals mainly through foreign films, and was familiarized through F.R.I.E.N.D.S and believe me - never in any part of my life had i felt anything different in them. They are just as same as all of us.
Ive seen Milk and i would be lying if i say it was comfortable watching them make love. Its not the kind of film that would change your feelings towards them. But there is one, that definitely would: Heavenly Creatures by Peter Jackson staring Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey. It was based on a true story. I was deeply touched by their love toward each other and hope of being together though the others considered it to be a disease.I never felt it as anything different or weird, it was just pure love for one another. The ending was a bit tragic... after all it was based on a true story.
Im really happy that we have a law supporting it, but what we really need is the change in general attitude towards them and to stop considering them as any different from the rest.

PJ had done a post on this topic, check it out too.

July 5, 2009

PE Lab hours

First of all, let me welcome you to my class – it’s actually my Power Electronics lab hours right now. I was thinking of introducing my group mates now, but since I’m quite busy running towards the lab right now, with two of my group mates, ill just skip it. We hadn’t written the rough record and had to complete it after the first hour.
Finally, by 10:07 we (A1, A2 and me) reached the Lab, all panting and sweating. There is one more member to our group, A4. And she is sitting over there, hiding from the teachers behind the power supply box, waiting for us.
Ours is the first batch and it was already been called and now we have to wait till the end to get the usual scolding for being late. If there is one thing that I don’t agree with my parents, it would be for giving a name that starts with A. I wouldn’t have minded if there was a silent K in front of my name. We always have to face everything first whether it is exams or seminars or speeches even the first to report to the lab.
After getting enough scolding for being late and again even more scolding for not learning the design well, we moved towards our table while A4 went to get the components.
One thing about this semester’s PE lab is that we haven’t got a single output all this time. But thanks to A2’s ingenious skill to plot graphs without the values despite A4’s consistent whining, we managed to get our records corrected on time.
This time we were supposed to make a digital trigger circuit. A4 came back with the components and placed it over the power supply box and we started assembling it.
We need a 10k resistor” I said after a while.
I brought it… it might be somewhere here” replied A4.
Well, it not here. Where did you place it?” asked A2 with a bored expression on his face, trying to fit an IC which suddenly decided to resist getting onto the breadboard.
Over there” replied A4 pointing to the top of the power supply box, her face turning grave ”Oh God, it might have fallen in thought the gap.
A few seconds of numb silence.
What should we do? Should we tell ma’am?
No! She will surely throw us out. May be nothing will happen” I said trying to convince myself.
Or may be it will be shorted” said A1 with a smile” and we have to buy a new PS box.
It’s just a resistor. 10k right? I don’t think anything serious would happen. We can turn it ON and check.” replied A2 now seemingly interested.
Failing to produce any counter arguments, we agreed and we all moved back and slowly turned ON the switch.
Nothing happened. Well, it may not be that bad a day after all.
Finished already?” came a comment from A5 from the other group seeing us turning on the supply. He was in our group till last sem, but got separated now. Not waiting to reply for that, we turned to our breadboard.
We somehow completed the wiring after a while and cautiously turned on the supply.
What is that smell?
Panic striking in slowly, we looked everywhere for the source, particularly the power supply box, sniffing each and every corner of it like a dog.
And we finally found the culprit. A resistor fuming on the breadboard, now hard black in color.
A4 brought another one and again turned ON the supply.
Same old smell, but this time we saw the resistor changing its color to dark black as it burned. It was kind of cool to see a resistor meet its end in our hands.
Wrong design” I screeched pulling a pile of hair from my head, looking at the design “the resistor should have a higher value
Whose book is this?” screamed A4, throwing my rough record over the other side of the table. I got the design wrong while copying it down from the senior’s old record.
You put a 10 ohm resistor in place of a 10k resistor.” She said.
Sorry…” I said with a smile on my face” Can you go and change it? I don’t like that lab attendant guy over there. He once scolded me for burning an IC for the umpteenth time.
I really don’t understand why these guys consider the components as their children. The expression they give when we burn an IC or something is what you usually give to a person who has murdered your only child.
And the good thing about having a girl in your group is that they will do anything you ask for even though you get to hear some whining. Moreover the lab attendants are always happy to assist a girl in every matter possible.
After replacing the resistor, we again turned it ON. We all were 99% sure that it wont work. And the probability stood good.
Nothing happened. No change in the DSO (Digital Storage Oscilloscope). It always showed the same boring noise signal no matter what you give to it. I never liked that thing, though it’s pretty useful in wasting time.
Now that we got no output, none of us bothered to check the circuit and went on to do other stuff to kill time. A1 took the DSO and started playing with it, A2 with the multimeter comparing his body resistance with ours. I started to make a plant with the wire we had in front.
With a large thick wire as the stem, I connected each leaves and branches on it. One boy A6 (lots of A-s around here) from the other class, had made a ring with resistors and a 555 IC. But that was his version of the story, but all other versions had a part in which he gifted it to a girl who burned the IC with her piercing stare.
But I had no intention of gifting my plant to anyone. Even if I had any such plans, it wouldn’t have worked. You will soon find out why.
After completing the plant, while admiring my own creation, A4 came out of nowhere with a cutting plier and cut off the top of my plant.
Why did you do that?” I screamed.
I was just removing the waste so that you can make a flower on top.” She said innocently.
THAT WAS THE FLOWER!” I replied, taking the fallen flower from under the table.
By now A1 and A2 peered in.
Why did you do that?” asked A2 “Do you know how hard it is to make such a thing? Push her off the stool, Amal. Push her.” and started pushing me. (She was sitting on my left side and they on the right)
I tried hard to resist the push from A1 and A2, but failing, I somehow jumped off my stool to the back side there by knocking down K who was busy flirting with L. Luckily the teachers didn’t notice this commotion.
I then jumped over my stool, with one leg on it to get back to my position, but while doing so took a moment to admire the beauty of the Lab from a different point of view. It was strange but amusing. But all my feelings suddenly drained away as my eyes fell on the teacher staring in wonder and anger at the student who dared to stand on a stool and enjoy the lab while she was on watch. I promptly fell on the stool and closed my eyes shut wishing it was all a dream. But even before I could wonder why the others were silent, I felt the presence of the teacher beside me.
Another scolding: the third one today.
When the teacher went back, A5 grinned from the other side. After cordially presenting him my middle finger, well hidden from the teachers by the faithful ammeter, I leaned over my record.
Now that we haven’t got the output, we borrowed the working circuit from K’s batch, again with constant whining from A4, showed the waveforms to the teacher who by the way was busy getting ready to leave, nodding at us even before getting enough time to figure out which DSO she was supposed to look at.
And now A2 started his battle with the graphs, and will soon produce an ideal plot.
See you later, I have to copy these graphs to my record now.
Take care :)