The song of the bright pearl

Searching for the lips that sang the song 
of deep passionate love,

I saw the bright pearl floating away,

and everything else felt worth losing.

Without turning around

to see what ive lost on my way,

i followed the addicting song

and took the pearl in my hands.

Deep in my heart, i sowed

feeding it day and night

with my love, joy and care.

I let my heart dance

at the rhythm of its song,

 my dreams grew around it.

But i heart its voice tremble

in my smothering embrace.

Why didn't i know, all this time

that the song was not sung for me.

Painful Love...

When a girl says she loves you, you just want to embrace her tight and shield her from all pain and sufferings and create a world full of love and happiness... 

But the stubborn wall of caste and religion is preventing me from this blissful embrace...

The longer i stand fighting the wall, the deeper she will drown in her own tears...

The Tale of a Thread

 

Started as a thin strand

feeble, flimsy and tender

each smiles and chats

adding more layers to it.

Slowly and happily,

it grew in size.

Adorned it with stories and pranks

we felt the rope shrink in length

getting thicker and stronger

with each beat of our hearts

bringing us closer

to continue the journey,

as a single beat of rhythm.

But the small fights and remarks

left deep cuts on the rope.

No matter how thick the rope grew around it,

it remained as the weakest links

sinfully waiting for that slightest of pulls.

And it happened;

the rope cut loose

and we both were left with our halves.

All that is left now

is the echo of the empty promises,

to remind our weeping hearts

Of how a thread grew into a rope.

A tag and an Award

I have been tagged by Aditi...

Here s the tag...


1.What is your current obsession?
Mafia Wars and Farmsville in FaceBook

2. What are you wearing today?
Black Jeans n T Shirt


3. What’s for dinner?
Watever i feel like eating..  :P


4. What’s the last thing you bought?
Aircel recharge coupon i guess

5. What are you listening to right now?
Oru mare ilaveyil neram - Ghajini(Tamil)


6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
A very good friend  :)


7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Anywhere in India, preferably in Kashmir


8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
Lemonade


9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Hmm... hw abt outerspace? ;) yeah, i had a craze for space science while at school  


10. Which language do you want to learn?
French :P


11. What’s your favourite quote?
"I cannot do everything but still I can do something, and I will not refuse to do the something i can do"

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
My parents n bro  ;)


13. What is your favourite colour?
Black and Red

14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet?
The Jeans Im wearing right now and a white T shirt with stripes


15. What is your dream job?
A web designer but unfortunately im an EEE stdnt, so have to do well in campus placements to get my dream realised.. 


16. What’s your favourite magazine?
Digit and Chip

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Im not sure on which but ill surely empty it in a flash  :D


18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
Long T shirts



19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
Hmm.. Paris Hilton


20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
Long

21. What are you going to do after this?
No idea  :P


22. What are your favorite movies?
The Illusionist, The Prestige, Prefume - The story of a murderer, The Pursuit of Happiness, Thanmathra(Malayalam)

23.How many tabs are turned on in ur browser right now?
9: Asianet login page,Gmail, 2 tabs of Facebook( Home n Mafia Wars) and the rest blogs

24. What inspires you?
Success stories of great men.


25. Give us three styling tips that always work for you:
Be yourself, confident and truthful


26. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)?
Close ur eyes and pick one. Wait a minute, thats wat i always do... Next question  :P


27. Coffee or tea?
Coffee


28. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
Walk away and try to free my mind. 



30. Which other blogs do you love visiting?
Look at the list on the right n ull see  ;)


31. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
Payasam


32. Favorite Season?
Spring


33. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
Well, i hav the responsibility to sent you back unharmed, so i wud rather not ;)


34. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
Ignore them, if they still bother you threten them and still they dont leave you, our good old punch on the nose wud do the trick. Believe me, it works.. :P


35. What are you afraid of the most?
Failure  :(


36:What brings a smile on your face instantly?
Naughty babies  :P

37:My Questinon: What is the first thing you do once uve booted ur system?
Run Firefox


Rules for those who are tagged:
Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.

I would love to pass on the tag and award to :

Anup

Nithin Jayan

Satyu

Gymnast

Priya Joyce

Shravan

Neetha Hussain

Anamika

You might have noticed the change in my blog, if u havnt look at the address bar  ;)
Yeah! I ve bought a domain :D \:D/
I was thinking of doing this with my 50th post.. but well sometimes..ahem.. most times im kinda restless when it comes to things like this  ;)

The Enemy Within

"I have been wearing a mask for so long that it had been unremovably bonded to my soul. Now it cant be removed without leaving a deep and painful scar behind."

May be he is not as good as he believes.
May be the kind of emotions he shows are a means to deceive himself more than others - to gain trust in the tiny little voice inside him.
May be he had lost control and the strings have now become more real and visible.

He always felt that there was someone inside him -
someone who never trusts him, his intuitions, finds out sinful intentions for his friends actions making him turn a cynic eye on them. It forced him to see everything through a pessimistic view.It taught him to trust no one, not even himself.

At times, it takes full control over him, tears him apart and eats him raw. 

"But Im sure that one day i shall destroy you and I will enjoy see you wither away." He whispered with a smile on his ghastly face.

PS. I actually have no idea which category this writeup comes under. It not a story, Its not about me, Its just some random thoughts expressed in a crude way...
Ill come up with something worth reading in the next post..

Healing myself

This is not what I wanted. Sitting numb in the confined walls listening to an old fool dictate stuff I don’t give a shit about. I want to be free, free from all these tension and pressure, these rules and regulations, free from all these stress that suffocates me, things I’m forced to do. I’m fed up with the things I’ve sacrificed to get those I care the least about.
I want to be free like a bird, like a small animal, I want to fly away from all these madness to some remote village or anything where I can do whatever things my heart tells me to.
Inside the lecture room, I felt like shouting, screaming at the top of my voice, like jumping or kicking someone. I even kicked my friend sitting beside me in my frustration. I don’t know what was happening to me. It was something that had never happened to me before. All I knew was that I was broken. All I knew was if I don’t get out of this chaos soon, I would certainly go mad.
At the end of that period, I took my bag and got out. I walked back to my room not even caring to tell my friends about it. All I did was walk with my eyes on the ground and my mind somewhere far away. Before I knew it, I was back in my room and threw myself onto the bed. I didn’t even feel like responding to the messages and missed calls from my friends. I stayed there staring at the ceiling and the fan, trying to get everything out of my mind.
I was thinking of taking a week leave and going back to my home. But my attendance percentage didn’t allow that. I hated it when other things affected my decisions; I hated it when I felt like being inside a prison.
Why can’t I have all the controls?
At least it’s my life.
One thing was for sure: I’m not going to the damned place again - well, at least until I feel better.
I felt a little better lying there with nothing in my mind. By about 4, I was feeling kind of OK and was thinking of a sensible explanation to give to my friends who were always bothered about my bunking classes.
But the next morning, when I was getting ready to leave for college, the bad feeling crept back again into my mind. I didn’t want to go. But again, I never paid attention to the lectures. I always preferred studying from texts. More over sometime back, I lost the faith in the authenticity of those precious words coming out of the lecturer’s mouth.
I decided to get back to my bed again. I had lain there without having breakfast. I felt peaceful with the cool air from the fan massaging my body, the soft music from my mobile healing each and every broken pieces of me.
Looking out through the window, I watched the light blue sky through the small leaves of the trees, the way the leaves move when the cool breeze swept through them, I let the beauty of nature spread inside me. I just laid there looking at that tree, the grey trunk, the thin yet numerous branches, the birds resting on them. I felt so peaceful and happy seeing the white clouds roaming about in the clear sky.
I felt like I was on a vacation, visiting all the beautiful places on the planet. I thought of myself standing beside a beach with the sun’s rays and the cool breeze touching my face, in a beautiful garden with the sound of birds singing for me.
My mind was full of happy thoughts, no Norton’s theory or 8085 architecture or function overloading or Rotating Magnetic Field to haunt me in my dreams. If you haven’t heard of all these things, consider yourself lucky.
I was in that dreamland for about 3’o clock. Hunger or thirst never dared to wake me up from this dream. I felt rejuvenated. I was cured.
By 3:30 I got up and set out to Alif Hotel to have my breakfast or lunch or evening snack, back to the real world.

The Question

He slammed the door shut and stormed out. A warm smile waited for him outside. All his sorrows died away and a cool breeze swept through his heart. Smilingly he got into the cab with her.
Peeking through the bedroom window, a small girl asked a teary pair of eyes
"Where is daddy going, mamma?"

12 things to be accomplished in my twenties - Tagged by Deepika

Deepika had tagged me with the Dozen things in my twenties tag.. and here goes my list...

1. Get an Electrical Engg job.
Ive always wanted to have a software job. But lately there has been a change inside my head. Well.. my thoughts and tastes always varies.. for no reason at all. My mind never stands still, it always enjoys running around and trying different things. We have recently gone for some industrial visits and got the chance to see inside a few power stations and manufacturing centres (well.. Electrical Engg stuff ) Though i first saw it as boring, i now find it interesting and am getting this feeling of that being MY area. Ive never had this feeling before, having criticizing EEE stuff whenever i get a chance. So im hoping to get a job in a core Electrical company and im really hoping to get it before i change my mind again ;)

2. Buy an Alienware PC and Laptop


I couldnt take my eyes off this beauty when i was first shown a picture of it by my brother. From that moment ownwards it topped my wishlist.

3.

Ban all dogs from leaving their houses and getting into the street. Those who have read some of my previous posts would know the reason ;)

4. Own a really powerful telescope.

5. Join the army and fight a war. When ever I see a war movie, i wish to join the army and fight a war... to experience it all.

6. Fall in love and get married

7. Bugee jumping from the tallest bridge (which ever it is..), sky diving, spend a night all alone in a dark jungle, travel in a hot air balloon, scuba diving (first i shd learn to swin well)

8.Attend a Linkin Park concert...

9. Slap a politician and get away.

10. Meet Stephan Hawking, Emma Watson, Edward Norton and Saurav Ganguly.

11. Get filthy rich :)
I dont think this needs any explanation.. ;)

12. Learn to write using my left hand. Im sure everyone agrees that writing with your left hand is really cool. And even more cooler thing is using both hands :D

And now i tag Shravan, Sowmi, Priya, Sneha and Jis Thomas

The Kiss - 55 Fiction

.


The smile from the sparkling eyes filled his heart with warmth and he felt helpless at the yearning desire to be together forever. The longing amativeness to make this sensuous soul his own intensified every second. Unable to hold back anymore, looking deep into those craving eyes, he leaned forward and kissed him.

---

First. I’m not gay.
Now bring back the eyebrows and continue reading.

I’m sure that all of you guys would agree that love (straight one...) is uncontrollable...
The urge to love and to be loved by another is unexplainable complicated and deep too. You would long for the attention of this person and would do anything to be with him/her forever. These feelings cannot always be shut down or ignored. These are something that is built into our system, technically the work of hormones.
So what if, somehow this same uncontrollable attraction is towards a person of the same gender? What can we do? Can we in any way blame them? I don't think so...


I came to know about homosexuals mainly through foreign films, and was familiarized through F.R.I.E.N.D.S and believe me - never in any part of my life had i felt anything different in them. They are just as same as all of us.
Ive seen Milk and i would be lying if i say it was comfortable watching them make love. Its not the kind of film that would change your feelings towards them. But there is one, that definitely would: Heavenly Creatures by Peter Jackson staring Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey. It was based on a true story. I was deeply touched by their love toward each other and hope of being together though the others considered it to be a disease.I never felt it as anything different or weird, it was just pure love for one another. The ending was a bit tragic... after all it was based on a true story.
Im really happy that we have a law supporting it, but what we really need is the change in general attitude towards them and to stop considering them as any different from the rest.

PJ had done a post on this topic, check it out too.

PE Lab hours

First of all, let me welcome you to my class – it’s actually my Power Electronics lab hours right now. I was thinking of introducing my group mates now, but since I’m quite busy running towards the lab right now, with two of my group mates, ill just skip it. We hadn’t written the rough record and had to complete it after the first hour.
Finally, by 10:07 we (A1, A2 and me) reached the Lab, all panting and sweating. There is one more member to our group, A4. And she is sitting over there, hiding from the teachers behind the power supply box, waiting for us.
Ours is the first batch and it was already been called and now we have to wait till the end to get the usual scolding for being late. If there is one thing that I don’t agree with my parents, it would be for giving a name that starts with A. I wouldn’t have minded if there was a silent K in front of my name. We always have to face everything first whether it is exams or seminars or speeches even the first to report to the lab.
After getting enough scolding for being late and again even more scolding for not learning the design well, we moved towards our table while A4 went to get the components.
One thing about this semester’s PE lab is that we haven’t got a single output all this time. But thanks to A2’s ingenious skill to plot graphs without the values despite A4’s consistent whining, we managed to get our records corrected on time.
This time we were supposed to make a digital trigger circuit. A4 came back with the components and placed it over the power supply box and we started assembling it.
“We need a 10k resistor” I said after a while.
“I brought it… it might be somewhere here” replied A4.
“Well, it not here. Where did you place it?” asked A2 with a bored expression on his face, trying to fit an IC which suddenly decided to resist getting onto the breadboard.
“Over there” replied A4 pointing to the top of the power supply box, her face turning grave ”Oh God, it might have fallen in thought the gap.”
A few seconds of numb silence.
“What should we do? Should we tell ma’am?”
“No! She will surely throw us out. May be nothing will happen” I said trying to convince myself.
“Or may be it will be shorted” said A1 with a smile” and we have to buy a new PS box.”
“It’s just a resistor. 10k right? I don’t think anything serious would happen. We can turn it ON and check.” replied A2 now seemingly interested.
Failing to produce any counter arguments, we agreed and we all moved back and slowly turned ON the switch.
Nothing happened. Well, it may not be that bad a day after all.
“Finished already?” came a comment from A5 from the other group seeing us turning on the supply. He was in our group till last sem, but got separated now. Not waiting to reply for that, we turned to our breadboard.
We somehow completed the wiring after a while and cautiously turned on the supply.
“What is that smell?”
Panic striking in slowly, we looked everywhere for the source, particularly the power supply box, sniffing each and every corner of it like a dog.
And we finally found the culprit. A resistor fuming on the breadboard, now hard black in color.
A4 brought another one and again turned ON the supply.
Same old smell, but this time we saw the resistor changing its color to dark black as it burned. It was kind of cool to see a resistor meet its end in our hands.
“Wrong design” I screeched pulling a pile of hair from my head, looking at the design “the resistor should have a higher value”
“Whose book is this?” screamed A4, throwing my rough record over the other side of the table. I got the design wrong while copying it down from the senior’s old record.
“You put a 10 ohm resistor in place of a 10k resistor.” She said.
“Sorry…” I said with a smile on my face” Can you go and change it? I don’t like that lab attendant guy over there. He once scolded me for burning an IC for the umpteenth time.”
I really don’t understand why these guys consider the components as their children. The expression they give when we burn an IC or something is what you usually give to a person who has murdered your only child.
And the good thing about having a girl in your group is that they will do anything you ask for even though you get to hear some whining. Moreover the lab attendants are always happy to assist a girl in every matter possible.
After replacing the resistor, we again turned it ON. We all were 99% sure that it wont work. And the probability stood good.
Nothing happened. No change in the DSO (Digital Storage Oscilloscope). It always showed the same boring noise signal no matter what you give to it. I never liked that thing, though it’s pretty useful in wasting time.
Now that we got no output, none of us bothered to check the circuit and went on to do other stuff to kill time. A1 took the DSO and started playing with it, A2 with the multimeter comparing his body resistance with ours. I started to make a plant with the wire we had in front.
With a large thick wire as the stem, I connected each leaves and branches on it. One boy A6 (lots of A-s around here) from the other class, had made a ring with resistors and a 555 IC. But that was his version of the story, but all other versions had a part in which he gifted it to a girl who burned the IC with her piercing stare.
But I had no intention of gifting my plant to anyone. Even if I had any such plans, it wouldn’t have worked. You will soon find out why.
After completing the plant, while admiring my own creation, A4 came out of nowhere with a cutting plier and cut off the top of my plant.
“Why did you do that?” I screamed.
“I was just removing the waste so that you can make a flower on top.” She said innocently.
“THAT WAS THE FLOWER!” I replied, taking the fallen flower from under the table.
By now A1 and A2 peered in.
“Why did you do that?” asked A2 “Do you know how hard it is to make such a thing? Push her off the stool, Amal. Push her.” and started pushing me. (She was sitting on my left side and they on the right)
I tried hard to resist the push from A1 and A2, but failing, I somehow jumped off my stool to the back side there by knocking down K who was busy flirting with L. Luckily the teachers didn’t notice this commotion.
I then jumped over my stool, with one leg on it to get back to my position, but while doing so took a moment to admire the beauty of the Lab from a different point of view. It was strange but amusing. But all my feelings suddenly drained away as my eyes fell on the teacher staring in wonder and anger at the student who dared to stand on a stool and enjoy the lab while she was on watch. I promptly fell on the stool and closed my eyes shut wishing it was all a dream. But even before I could wonder why the others were silent, I felt the presence of the teacher beside me.
Another scolding: the third one today.
When the teacher went back, A5 grinned from the other side. After cordially presenting him my middle finger, well hidden from the teachers by the faithful ammeter, I leaned over my record.
Now that we haven’t got the output, we borrowed the working circuit from K’s batch, again with constant whining from A4, showed the waveforms to the teacher who by the way was busy getting ready to leave, nodding at us even before getting enough time to figure out which DSO she was supposed to look at.
And now A2 started his battle with the graphs, and will soon produce an ideal plot.
See you later, I have to copy these graphs to my record now.
Take care :)

The Meeting

Catherine placed the receiver back with a fervent smile on her face and leaned back onto her chair.
It has been long since she had seen him. Hours of talks on the phone was nothing compared to the smile on his face when he sees her. She recollected each word Kevin had said.
“…it has been a while, honey... I desperately wanted to see your face ... n I wanted it to be a surprise.”
She had no words to reply.
“Well meet you at the old park. What do you say?” he asked “When will you be free?”
“In an hour… oh... may be half an hour…” she smiled
“Good. I’ll be there… love ya... bye”
Wiping away tears from her eyes, she got up. The usually boring day had suddenly found the dewdrops it was waiting for.
No time to waste. She sank in to complete the report she had to submit the next day.
A while later, a nurse walked into her room and seeing her packing, asked.
“Leaving early Dr. Catherine?”
“Yeah... big plans, Susan” she said trying the least to hide her happiness.
“Hmm... I can see that in your face” Susan said”... too bad you were asked to report to the emergency room... a minor accident case”
“What? No... I’ve gotto go... its really important. Can’t Lizzie cover up for me? Ask her, please. I have to go. Besides it’s my shift is over too.”
She always considered her job as sacred, but it has taken all happiness from her life… kept her away from Kevin. She was not ready to let it happen this time too. She too wanted to have some contentment in her life. She quickly took her stuff and headed out.
As her car headed out of her the hospital, a crowd beside the junction caught her attention. Accidents have become a regular occurrence here. Why aren’t the authorities doing anything for it? She asked herself. But it was while taking the turn that she saw the wrecked car. Her heart sank as the world around her contracted onto her filling her teary eyes with darkness.

Trying hard to keep herself up, she got out of her car and ran back. She ran back to the hospital praying with all her heart to not let it be true.

Pushing open the emergency door, she saw the white sheet been put over the beautiful face she had so longed to see.

Bring back the warmth…

I'm not sure if my introduction into the world of science was a blessing or a curse. It has definitely changed my outlook toward everything around me and I learned to think on my own. An academically average student became a curious observer and the thirst to know more only increased as I filled myself with what appeared to be the truth. But I had a larger prize to pay for that.

The truth I sought left a small hole in my pot labeled faith and my faith in god started to leak out leaving a dark trail behind me. Before I knew it, I had an empty pot with nothing to put my faith in. I never knew being realistic could rob you off your optimism.

Now I can never leave anything to chance for I knew that no one was there to guide me in my darkest hours or bring me luck when I needed it most. I felt betrayed and lonely in the world ruled not by love, sympathy or benevolence but by forces of attraction or repulsion and other forces that I now don't care to remember.

I know I'm believing in the truth, but when I see others around me crying, sobbing and talking at the house of god as though to a person sitting beside you, who nods at your every word with compassion, sympathy and understanding, I feel that I'm losing something, something worth treasuring, something that makes me feel that my tears are not in vain.

The feeling of having someone beside, you no matter wherever you are and at all times, to show a shoulder for you to cry on and empty your sorrow, to give you comfort and strength.

To have an invisible yet loyal friend, lover, guide all the time.

Now I truly understand what god is…

It's a part of yourself that comes forward at times of loneliness and sorrow to share your grief and give you a warm hug.It cannot change water to wine or cure the blind or get to rich in a fortnight or win battles for you or comes in all fury to exterminate the evil. But it does have the magical power to make you feel yourself.

My Work - Coffee Time

This is the pic of a girl i saw in a regional newspaper n decided to draw it...
The girl in the original picture was really beautiful.. i just couldn't take my eyes off her even while drawing ;) , but this one is not :(





Another close up of the above picture



Click here to see my previous works :)

Tagged!!!

Deepika had tagged me a long time ago… n my stupid exams kept me away from taking this tag.. its not yet over, but just one more to go.. its also the easiest one.. n the most boring L

So here goes.. 100 truths abt me…

1. Last drink: Black Coffee

2. Last phone call : a friend

3. Last text message: a friend again...

4. Last song you listened to: My Name is... by Eminem

5. Last time you cried: Dont remember.. was long back.. im a tough guy now ;)

Have you ever?...

6. Dated someone twice: :(

7. Been cheated on?: Nope..

8. Kissed someone & regretted it?: No…

9. Lost someone special?: Dont think so..

10. Been depressed?: Yeah... Im always waiting for a reason to get depressed..

11. Been drunk and threw up?: ahem.. ahem..

Four Favourite Colors...

12. Black

13. Red

14. Blue

15. White

Firsts....

16. Made new friends: Yeah!!

17. Fallen out of love: im trying to fall in…

18. Laughed until you cried: Lots of times.. with the kinda fnrz ive got, thats all u do...

19. Met someone who changed you: Actually not met.. but Stephan Hawking has changed me thru his work n books in a way i would never have imagined.

20. Found out who your true friends were: Oh Yeah...

21. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah...

Have You...

22. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: No

23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: In my Orkut frnz list.. most of em.. but in blogger, just 4!

24. How many kids do you want to have: havnt thought abt it yet.. but i think just one would be enough..

25. Do you have any pets: No

26. Do you want to change your name: Ive got the best name in this world, why would i want to change it!

27. What did you do for your last birthday: Spent with my frnz :)

28.What time did you wake up today: 2 o clock! no 2 in the morning... yeah.. i knw... im strange :P.. but normally around 5 :)

29. What were you doing at midnight last night: Zzzz....

30. Name something you CANNOT wait for: To get out of college..

31. Last time you saw your father: 3-4 weeks ago

32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: cant think of anything..

33. Most visited web page: of course... gmail. i hate to say it but google kinda owns me. :(

What's Your...

34. Name: I'm Bose, Amal Bose ( 007 tune in the background )

35. Nicknames: U dont want to know :P

36. Zodiac sign: Scorpio

37. Male or female or transgender: MALE

38. Elementary: S N Public School

39. School: S N Public School

40. College: College of Engineering, Trivandrum

41. Hair color: Black

42. Long or short: Short

43. Height: 170 cm

44. Do you have a crush on someone?: yeah...

45. Ever been in love?: No

46. Piercings?:No

47. Tattoos?: No.

48. Righty or lefty: Righty

49. First surgery: Never had one..

50. First piercing: Nopes.

51. First best friend: Jaidev... im lucky that it still is..

52. First sport you loved: Cricket..

53. First pet: My brother ;)

54. First vacation: Dont remember... Hyderabad i guess

55. First concert: Waiting for Linkin Park to come to India

56. First crush: a kindergarten friend

Right Now...

57. Eating: Nothing

58. Drinking: Nothing

59. I'm about to: go n watch Angels n Demons.. heard its not as good as the book, but i wont miss Tom Hanks for anything :)

60. Listening to: Linkin Park.. (repeated ques???)

61. Waiting for: Nothing

Your Future...

62. Want kids?: yeah

63. Want to get married?: who wont.. but not anytime soon... need to enjoy my freedom

64. Careers in mind?: something i would love to do.. with lots of people around me.. preferably in software field.. the prob is im an Electrical Engineering stdnt.. but one thing is for sure... i dont want n electrical related job. went to a PowerStation a few weeks ago... its the most boring job anyone can ever get..

Which is better with the opposite sex...??

65. Lips or eyes: Both….

66. Hugs or kisses: Hugs in public…….. Kisses in private ;) ( stole Deepika's answer :P )

67. Shorter or taller: Taller

68. Older or Younger: younger...

69. Romantic or spontaneous: Both…..

70. Nice stomach or nice arms: Both…..

71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive…..

72. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship…

73. Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble maker ;)

Have you ever...??

73. Kissed a stranger: nope..

74. Lost glasses/contacts: glasses..

75. Sex on first Date: nope..

76. Broken someone's heart: yeah.. :(

77. Had your own heart broken: yeah

78. Been arrested: No

79. Turned someone down: nope..

80. Cried when someone died: Havnt cried, but ive felt really bad..

81. Liked a friend that is a girl?: Yeah..

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...

82. Yourself: Yeah

83. Miracles: Big No..

84. God: Another really big NO

85. Love at first sight: No..no.. i think for u to fall in love with someone, u need to know each other really well..

86. Heaven: Again no..

87. Santa Claus: :( No..

88. Kiss on the first date?: yeah.. y not?

89. Angels: No.

90. Devils: No..

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...

91. Is there one person you want to be with right now?: Yeah..

92. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time?: No..

93. Wanted to kill someone ever?: Oh Yeah.. many times..

94. Among you blog mates, whom would you like to kiss?: No one

95. Committed a blunder and regretted later?: Ive been committing blunders ever since ive passed Xth std

96. Wanted to steal your friend's boyfriend / girlfriend?: No..

ASSOCIATE WITH SOMETHING YOU WEAR...

97. White: Shirt

98. Black: Pants..

99. Red: T Shirt..

100. Pink: pink.. pink.. No... no pink

Phew…

That's it abt me..

Im tagging Satyu, Hemanth, Nithin, Swati and Anupama

Quest for my goal

Sorrow hovered over me a like the dark cloud
Blocking the sun’s rays from reaching me
My hopeful peeks into my future were blinded
By the piercing glare of my impossible goal
I tried to block the light with my hands
And that was when I found out I was invisible,
and why my screams reached deaf years
I tried to move forward to my goal
But found myself tied to my putrid past
by the laughter around me:
You are too insignificant.
You won’t make it. What a joke!
Holding back tears, I fell on my knees.
They had finally opened the oak door that
I had tried all my life to keep locked
And all my nightmares came onto me,
to further lower me into my grave.
I stood there with a drooping face
waiting for defeat to capture me.
Like dew refreshing a dying flower
I felt a cool mist surround and rejuvenate me
The love of those who cared for me,

those I have abandoned for my quest for the stars.
I let the tears from my crimson eyes
wash away the sin I had committed.
Closing myself onto me
my dream on my mind,
I walked towards my goal.

Its Priya Joyce's birthday on 27th and i wish her a really wonderful birthday..

Cursed Word

Well guys, this is my first attempt in 55 fiction.


Her words were deep cuts to his heart. The perennial smile on his face faded away.
"Is there someone else?" he asked.
"Leave me alone, just go"
With a heavy heart and welled up eye he slowly turned and left.
Holding back tears she opened the wrinkled paper and reread the cursed word - Leukemia

Craziest Dreams...

Every time I dream at night, I wake up feeling just as excited and thrilled as watching a suspense thriller Hollywood movie. Almost all of my dreams have all the ingredients for a block buster thriller movie – suspense, action, fear, adventure. :)

The interesting thing is that I’m having these dreams long before I knew there was a world outside the four walls of my house. I think my oldest dreams are the most exciting and enigmatic ones.

Ill just tell you about one such dream. I remember having this same dream for more than two or three times. In it, there is a man standing in a deserted area, it kinda looks like set with white background and there is a long string attached between two short poles (but it’s a bit more complicated than a simple pole). He then slowly walks forward till he reaches the string. Then I would see him getting closer and closer to the string that too in slow motion until the separation reaches microscopic level. He then finally touches the string, and then something happens that I really don’t understand. A small globe will be formed and it will get bigger and bigger sucking in everything around it. This getting bigger part is the most frightening one, I don’t know why I was frightened by this but I could fell the globe consume the entire world around and then it explodes in a flash.

As I grew up and was in primary school, I had normal scary dreams... the most common being dogs chasing me ;) . Whenever they are in hot pursuit on me, I would either feel like the being immobile or in slow motion or the door of my house which was supposed to be the safe house would move away from me for apparently no reason at all. But I never got caught :D

Later years fell victim to the falling dreams.

On one such dream, I imagine the earth to be made of shells, hollow inside with more shell like earth inside it. Kinda like onion with separation between the peels. And there would be holes or large gaps on each of these layers through which people would fall from one layer to the other. In this dream, there would be millions of others around, either falling with me, or holding on to the edges of the gaps. The scene is similar to a hell like one with a reddish orange sky n all.

There is another falling dream; it’s not scary, but a nice one. It is similar to bungee jumping but without ropes. In it I would be falling, no I would jump intentionally from a tall building or once from even a coconut tree ;) . And I really enjoyed the weightless feeling while plummeting towards the ground. It also does hurt while reaching the ground.

You think I’m crazy? Wait for more ;)

Once I dreamt of an exact movie scene, with me costarring with none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger and Batman :D .How cool is that? I and my buddies ;) were fighting bad guys in a big hospital (I guess the inspiration was from Die Hard, just the change of scene).The incident is at night (may be because of Batman’s involvement) and I remember saving Arnold from a potentially fatal fight. :)

I think this is the first time I have identified someone else in my dream. Of course none of the characters had recognizable faces, but I just knew who they were. Another thing is that almost all my dreams are in Black and White but I just feel the colors :)

I have had lots of such dreams which I don’t remember now. But I remember one climax in which I was terrified to death, but suddenly the scene changed and I saw my mother sleeping beside me (that was inside the dream) and I hugged her and went on to have a nice deep sleep after that. :)

Well no guys dream story is full without dreams of girls ;)

In almost all of my dreams about girls, I was just talking to them. Just talking, only the scene changes, if it was the train one time, it would be in the college the next time or somewhere else.

Yeah, and one time I dreamt of going to the moon along with Tom Hanks and Saurav Ganguly :) I’ve also had dreams about my school, after I passed out of it, but all the time, the scene was in and around the toilet. I really don’t know why ;)

I guess thats all I can remember, now its your turn to share your CRAZIEST dreams :)

I dedicate this post to Deepika Gupta who has been asking for a happy post from me for a while now... ;)

My Reflection

Their applause and encouragement were drugs to my blood. I was more active, happy and felt like i could do anything with them around me. Everyone around me encouraged me to sail along. Everything was in my favour, the pleasant sun, the cool breeze sailing past us, the beautiful butterflies feeding on the dazzling flowers, the chirrups of the small birds flying around - I was in heaven. I could see happiness in every eye that met mine.

But in that ecstatic state, i slipped. I was carried away too far by the encore and one mistake was all it took. There was dead silence all around.
I was lost.

With a bleeding heart, I looked around for a caring soul, for a loving heart, for a smiling lips only to stare at the emptyness around me. Tears ran down my eyes washing away any trace of euphoria that had once played along. Slowly the tears feel onto the river below me blurring my own reflection staring back at me in silence.
My only friend.

The Brightness of Truth

I peeked out into the wonderful world outside
From within my parents shell around me
And waited eagerly for the fine day
I would be granded wings on my own.

With a heart spilling with emotions
I stepped out of the broken shell.
Crushing its pieces under by feet,
I walked out into the brightness.

In the light that has been shielded by my shell,
I saw the world as it really was.
No longer under a filter, my heart slowly learned
The stinking truth of the real world.

Where lies roamed free without a reason,
A hidden sneer always tailed a plastic smile,
Where some fasted for a better posture,
While other to hide their hunger.

Where people killed like dogs in the streets,
While others learned to blind themselves
And to stare at their own paths
Where the only mantra was "I, Me and Mine".

I tried to shield myself and ignore it
But the blanket around me slowly faded away.
I found myself stink with the world around me.
I had finally become a part of the chaos.

Around me I heard sound of cracking shells
Eager faces glancing out of their breaking shells
To stare into the unknown world,
And to face the brightness of truth.

You are a stranger, you can't be nice

Aleena moved away from the window side seat and took out a book from deep inside her bag, as the train started moving from the station. She has had the book with her for a while now, her tough schedule kept her away from it for most of the time. After making a mental note to finish it before getting home, she sank into the book.
She barely noticed the middle aged man limping past her and throwing himself onto the single window side seat in very next compartment - facing her. It was a while after she glanced up and saw this man. He had a large forehead blemished by the scar across his left eye brow, and his shirt though appeared clean was all wet from sweat. He appeared uneasy and was looking out into the nearly fields through his deep sunken eyes.

When did he get here? I was sure no one was there when the train left.

She glanced around, there werent many passengers around, and her attention again feel on this man who was looking directly at her now. His cold stare made a chill run down her spine. She was never comfortable with strangers, but this was far worse. She instinctively turned away.

God! He is staring at me... Should i go and sit with someone else?

She tried to concentrate on the book, but she couldnt take her mind away from those staring eyes.

Who is he and what does he want? May be i should talk to the TT about this...

She had heard about strange things happening in trains, trains with less passengers, trains like this.. drug addicts, child molesters, gangmen... Her mind found new and new possibilities and each made her heart sunk even lower.

The train came to a halt in a small station, and the man glanced out of the window as though searching for someone. Minutes passed by and he was still leaning out of his seat and looking, sweating even more and looking worried.
Just then a small girl probably 10 years, boarded the train. Without even saying anything to whoever who had brought her, she turned and looked around. The little girl saw the man sitting on the window side seat waving at her. With an innocent smile on her face she moved towards him.
Aleena didnt know why, but caught the little girl by her hand and turned her around.
" What are you doing here? and where are your parents?"
With the smile still on her lips, she turned to the man and said "... there." and ran to him.

She jumped onto him giving him a big hug.

"How is your leg,Daddy? and what did doctor uncle say?" she asked patting his right leg.

"Daddy is OK, sweet heart.. I can... I can walk." he said.

Looking at his leg she said "I love you Daddy" planting a gentle kiss on his cheeks.

She started talking about different things that happened to her during the day, the new friends she made, how she hated the gardener and so on. He smiled at her and some times laughed out loud just like the small child on his lap.

On the next station he stood up and started limping out.

"You can hold onto me Daddy, ill walk you out."

"Thats OK sweetheart, I can walk" he replied.
He saw Aleena watching the both of them, and smiled at her like a proud father.
She tried to force a smile on her face, but nothing came out.