June 15, 2009

Bring back the warmth…


I'm not sure if my introduction into the world of science was a blessing or a curse. It has definitely changed my outlook toward everything around me and I learned to think on my own. An academically average student became a curious observer and the thirst to know more only increased as I filled myself with what appeared to be the truth. But I had a larger prize to pay for that.

The truth I sought left a small hole in my pot labeled faith and my faith in god started to leak out leaving a dark trail behind me. Before I knew it, I had an empty pot with nothing to put my faith in. I never knew being realistic could rob you off your optimism.

Now I can never leave anything to chance for I knew that no one was there to guide me in my darkest hours or bring me luck when I needed it most. I felt betrayed and lonely in the world ruled not by love, sympathy or benevolence but by forces of attraction or repulsion and other forces that I now don't care to remember.

I know I'm believing in the truth, but when I see others around me crying, sobbing and talking at the house of god as though to a person sitting beside you, who nods at your every word with compassion, sympathy and understanding, I feel that I'm losing something, something worth treasuring, something that makes me feel that my tears are not in vain.

The feeling of having someone beside, you no matter wherever you are and at all times, to show a shoulder for you to cry on and empty your sorrow, to give you comfort and strength.

To have an invisible yet loyal friend, lover, guide all the time.

Now I truly understand what god is…

It's a part of yourself that comes forward at times of loneliness and sorrow to share your grief and give you a warm hug.It cannot change water to wine or cure the blind or get to rich in a fortnight or win battles for you or comes in all fury to exterminate the evil. But it does have the magical power to make you feel yourself.

83 comments:

swati said...

:)now that makes me smile...
one dont need to go anywhr in search of God he resides in us..jus look within,if u do good God is in u blessing u hugging u showering happiness..if u do wrong thn thr is devil in u always taking u to the darker side of life..
its upto us wat we want to be n wat we want to have..
those emotions u mentioned here is wat life is all about..the scientific reason let it be thr in the books coz thy wont help u wen ur in pain n wana shed tears or wen ur happy n wana smile..its ur faith in him which will let u fight the worst possible situation..
Good day :)

Priya Joyce said...

well...I do not know whether god is another being..or a person of flesh and blood..
but he exists..yes..wat u said..is something..we can take it as..

I do not know whether I can name it the same..but i kindaa agree wth u to an extent.
tc

Brosreview said...

"It's a part of yourself that comes forward at times of loneliness and sorrow to share your grief and give you a warm hug.It cannot change water to wine or cure the blind or get to rich in a fortnight or win battles for you or comes in all fury to exterminate the evil. But it does have the magical power to make you feel yourself."

This I agree to. Nice thought!

Priya Joyce said...

and the picture..looks like the Micheal Angelo creation :)

nice one

Amal Bose said...

@Swati
i dont agree with the blessing thing.. i dont believe there is a being that looks after us.. for me that word has an entriely different meaning

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

beautiful....
I have never beenan overtly religious person...but i do believe that God is around...there is some force that definitely keeps us all going through good times or bad:)

Amal Bose said...

@Priya
thanks for the comment.. :-)
and THE PICTURE IS NOT MINE

Amal Bose said...

@Brosreview
thanks buddy...

Amal Bose said...

@Santasizing..
ya.. i totally respect your beliefs, though mine is a bit different..
thanks for the comment

Sowmi said...

Yo think soo much..self-analysis? am not mature enf to think like this lol!! Good when u do this and yes GOD is within us...

Amal Bose said...

i cant call it self analysis.. but general analysis would be fine..
thanks for the comment..
take care :-)

slow processor said...

A really wonderful picture of faith..
I loved the last part very much.

I was always a bad believer, I doubted God too often.
But when I stopped judging God based on the injustice and misery in this world , something started clicking.
God doesn't need our prayers, we cannot butter him..that's y prayers sometime stop working..

God is your other self that picks you up when u fall down..

ANWESA said...

a beautiful post..m goin 2 remember it 4 quite sumtym 2 come..

Gymnast said...

Well said Amal. God is word that can be endowed with many meanings. While u can choose 2 disbelieve in the God of the society , choose to believe in the God that is within you.
Isnt that what all great minds of the world has urged - look within you , to find the ultimate truth.
You are right Amal , You are god

Arv said...

take care dude :)

Dhanya said...

Hmmmm... learning new things can mislead you and make you think in a totally different perspective which can be the right thing or wrong.. it all depends on you eventually... on what you want to believe :)

Mayz said...

well said dude...

hez faith...in wateva u r doin...u can label him as an individual or jus a thought

Amal Bose said...

@ slow processor
judging God based on the injustice and misery in this world
thats exactly wat i do :)

damsel in distress said...

Ah. wonderful subject.

i went through a similar phase too..search of God or whatever..I was agitated by the contradictions..had heated debates about religion..I guess as time passed by i formed a theory for everything on my own..(that sounds a lil bit weird!)

I don't believe in hell and heaven, and sin and sinners..I don't believe in a God who loves one religion and will kill out all the others.

But i do believe in God. don't you think everyone comes into contat with that power at some point of their lives?? we all define god in our own way...

But it does have the magical power to make you feel yourself.


those are words of wisdom beyond your age...

I had to read this post a few times,still i haven't completley understood the whole thing. guess the subject is too deep,that we all need to read the lines,read between the lines and then read beyond the lines..

thought provoking post..you have novel ideas for blog posts-like the dream one and this..keep up the good work..

:)

Amal Bose said...

@ANWESA
welcome to my blog n thanks for the comment :)

Amal Bose said...

@Gymnast
thanks a lot...
take care :)

Amal Bose said...

@Arv
thanks..
take care :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Dhanya
ya. thats true :)

Amal Bose said...

@Mayz
thanks for the comment buddy :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Damsel
thanks for the longest comment ive ever recieved :D

beyond my age?? im 21!!!

damsel in distress said...

aiyyo..no..i meant u r wise beyond ur age..well, i meant..those were really deep you see..trust me, i hve had some serious shocks when i learnt what other boys at the age of 21 wer thinking about. :P

btw- not to confuse you, am 20.

Aniket said...

I am an atheist. But I do believe in hope, in faith and in dreams. I totally agree with you that God to me is the place/person/moment where you are truly at peace with yourself and see things as clear as never before.

To me that comes mostly with family and friends. Or even sometimes at solitary walks. That to me is God.

I would never blame science for anything though. Science does keep a leash on my dreams and hopes. But thats what keeps me grounded.

It helps me shape my dreams. They might not turn out as beautiful but at least it helps them come true.

Great post. :)

Amal Bose said...

@Damsel
oh..
im sorry.. i didnt mean anything :-)
take care :-)

Amal Bose said...

@Aniket
thanks a lot for the comment..
thats how i feel too

Ivy said...

awesome post! :) keep'em coming

Vinitha Vasanth said...

Nice post .. you've managed to pour out the feelings inside your head so well on paper (ok .. blogger :))

Rahul Viswanath said...

I have faith in HIM .......

muthu said...

a POIGNANT perspective...

Yeah, God s just a part of ourself to whom we hang on when broken.

I am agnostic but still Yeah I can see the validness in the point you make.

Cheers. :)

Devil Incarnate... said...

Good post.. it made me think...
i never really searched for god, bt i knw that there some power within me, that gives me strength and power during the times i feel i will fall, a power that gives me comfort whn there is none else that understnds u and u feel all alone..
i never really gave a big though on that, bt i do blive, that without that power i wont b here writing this comment.. it doesnt really matter wt name i call it, as long as i knw its ther 4 me..

Vinnie said...

wow!!
they say 'A non-believer is the most loneliest, who will he go to thank"
God or whatever..we need to Believe..so bttere believe in oneself..no greater Truth than that:)
science too will find anwers but will take another millions of centuries...:)

great read btw:)

Amal Bose said...

@ Ivy
thanks :)

Amal Bose said...

@Vinitha

thanks for the comment
take care :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Rahul
thats good.. i totally respect your beliefs..

Amal Bose said...

@ Muthu
thanks for the feedback...
keep smiling :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Devil Incarnate
yes.. thats what i feel too..
thanks for the comment :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Vinnie

yes, thats the problem being a non believer.. but its not something that we choose is it.
its something that comes to ur mind on its own.. u cant help it but analyze it with facts that uve got.

anupama said...

dear amal,
at last...............MY GOD!i'm so hapy you found the truth yourself.''more things are wrought by prayer than this world ever dreams of''.
my nanda always tells me,''anu,god is our best friend''.my friend loretta repeats.you talk talk to god as your friend,your parent,your guide,yoursoul,your child in whatever form you want!the best and the loyal friend!
amal we are human beings first with emotions and frustrations.try to see god in a child,and in a blooming flower!keep smiling.we are answerable for our actions!
i simply loved your post!amazing!A BIG GOD BLESS YOU!keep writing!you are awonderful creation of god!be proud of yourself.
:)
sasneham,
anu

sujata said...

Keep your faith Amal. By whatever name you want to call that power, keep the faith that there is something which will guide you through distressing times. Without faith there isnt much to live for..

Saranya said...

The was an amazing write up. and I agree with you, it is indeed a magic power :)

Pretty Me!! said...

very thoughtful, meaningful and a true write !!

Uncommon Sense said...

being a unbeliver i agree with you, but i think its better to face the bitter truth than to live in an illusion...

Amal Bose said...

@ anupama
i think u r slightly mistaken abt my point of view.. i dont believe in prayers or anything,
for me, if u have to succeed, u have to work hard. nothing can replace it..

Amal Bose said...

@ sujatha..
yes, without faith there is nothing to live for. but the question is what to put ur faith on?

Amal Bose said...

@ saranya

thanks a lot for the comment :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Pretty me
thanks for the feedback
keep smiling :)

Amal Bose said...

@ uncommon sense
yes, but u can live with a lot of depressing thoughts.. ive tried it, but failed

Adisha said...

That's sooooo beautiful !!! Sometimes you realize what something truly meant to u, or is when you feel the distance growing ... God , is what we make of The concept. What we choose to believe, and what we stand by , are what it all comes down to ..

Amazing post ... thanks for visiting my blog. See u more often :D

A New Beginning said...

Thats a beautiful thought Amal.We as humans cannot live our lives in complete alienation, we do need something to cling on to come out of the ditch of life..something that would guard us and would be there whenever we feel lonely.
God is the strength that we canb seek at any point of time in life.Ge follows us wherever we go and keeps us in his care until its time for us to leave the world and meet him in the hereafter. A good hold on our faith brings us out of any problem in life and peovides us with the strength that lasts forever:)
I like the sketches that your posted on your blog.
Youre doing a great job, keep up!

Ria said...

loved the picture and it jus goes so well with the theme of the post.I m not that much of a religious person but i do believe in god! :)

Winnie the poohi said...

When you have urself why you need god?

DPhatsez said...

Padam aadyam kandappo thaan varachathaanennu vichaarichu ;)

Amen!

Hmm so behind that science dork an artist and thinker lurks latent

\m/
Impressive

Deepika Gupta said...

m late... :(
but not disappointed... it was nice thou dark... well written.. thou i need not to say this... you have achieved excellence in your writing.... :)

Aarthi said...

Fantastic... Loved reading this write.

The last few lines that you wrote has completely summed it up for us! :)

Sneha said...

you have manged to beautifully express your feelings.:)

Steve said...

Awesome Write-up!!

AD said...

kinda agree to a lil extent.. a teeny tiny :)

Dewdrop said...

I think goodness and love is manifested in and around us - through our family, friends, well-wishers... God is right in us!

Kartz said...

You refer to God with an upper-case *G*; you also refer to yourself with an upper-case *I*.

(ok, you've spelled it with a lower-case *g*. Nonetheless. ;) )

A very thought-provoking read, per se. Made me pause to ponder...

Keep 'em coming.

Peace. Have a wonderful weekend.

---
Thank you for stopping-by my weblog to leave a note. I appreciate your time. I have been away for a while now and hence this delayed visit.

See you around soon.

Peace.

Ashwathy said...

as they say:
faith can move mountains!
amen! :-)

Amal Bose said...

@ Adisha
welcome to this blog n thanks a lot for the comment..
do visit often :)

Amal Bose said...

@A New Beginning
thanks..

Amal Bose said...

@ Ria

thanks for the comment :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Winnie
what abt other times, when we dont feel ourself

Amal Bose said...

@ Dphatsez

dork??? :|
thanks for the comment buddy ;)

Amal Bose said...

@ Deepika

thanks a lot dear :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Aarthi
thanks a lot :)
take care

Amal Bose said...

@ Sneha
thanks :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Steve
thanks Steve :)

Amal Bose said...

@ AD
thanks ;)

Amal Bose said...

@ Dewdrop
yeah... so true :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Karz
ha ha... i never thought of it..
thanks for the comment :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Ashwathy

thats true :)
take care

Illeen said...

Maybe that is why they say,our god lies within us. :)

Lakshmi said...

Nice post n its true... wat u say... I ve felt tht way too.. to believe in God is to put faith in your urself... U make things happen by focusing on wat u want...u pray to God.. its easier to believe n hope there's sumone out there who's listening.. Here's my view on the topic...
http://lifewhatthehellisitallbout.blogspot.com/2009/03/prayers.html

Anonymous said...

appooppa is at blogspot

Anonymous said...

appooppa is at blogspot

floreta said...

hands are hard and the drawing is quite good!

mystish said...

hie.. i have recently started following your blog.. this was the first post i read.. interesting reading it made for.. i am not much of a believer myself.. if i may confess i was a self proclaimed atheist for the longest time.. only recently did i convert to agnosticism.. i think this creed balances out the known-unknown and believable-unbelievable beautifully.. the question is within you here, as is the answer.. that is what i think you are saying also.. that the first and last connection should be with one's own self.. that is where all the strength is to be drawn from, that is where the fears are to conquer, that is where love is to summon, that is where hope is, that is where faith is..lovely post..