August 11, 2009

The Question


He slammed the door shut and stormed out. A warm smile waited for him outside. All his sorrows died away and a cool breeze swept through his heart. Smilingly he got into the cab with her.
Peeking through the bedroom window, a small girl asked a teary pair of eyes
"Where is daddy going, mamma?"

77 comments:

Satyu said...

Wow Amal
Beautiful Post...with full of emotions :)
Liked it:)
Esp..
the little gal words were very touching :)
Nice work Amal :)

Takecare
keep smiling :)

अर्शिया अली said...

Nice Blog. Congrats.
{ Treasurer-T & S }

Winnie the poohi said...

Awesome!

mystish said...

how do you people do it??!! i always need/want/ought to have one thousand words to express the littlest of things.. and here you are, you and a few others- champions of brevity!! where do they teach you this?? ;)
excellent post amal!
hugs

slow processor said...

After a long time..
:-)
This was superb..

Dhanya said...

Wow... short but hard hitting! :-o

Ashwathy said...

omg!! that one hit straight home...!
heart-rendingly well written!

Aarthi said...

That was really touching Amal...

Saw the sketch of Emma Watson! :)Wow! :)

Ki said...

Oh wow! I need to seriously work on my stories, you're FANTASTIC! :D

Shravan | ശ്രവണ്‍ said...

amal.. that is one superb work.. loved it.. and visual of that small girl.. man, trust me i saw it !

damsel in distress said...

well done..blah blah blah..

the term warm smile was inappropriate,i think. warm...she is taking a father away from a daughter-i sorta pictured a sautan there..a villainous char..you gave her an aura of warmness..that dint fit

cool breeze- should have been better..the coolness should've settled down somehow..the breeze signifies momentary relaxing..


smilingly..entho oru problem..
teary..also..i wonder-little girl or small girl-wch is better??

a straight qn-where is daddy going..maybe you shld've tried a little bit emotion there with punctuation..

but i guess with 55 word fiction you are limited with words right?but nevertheless,as everyone said-the post hit the heart!!

but still..YOU can do way better.

is this bitchy enough??:P nah..i was honest kay..
:)

Fiducia said...

That hit me real hard, dude!!!
The girl's question was open-ended...
Nice style of writing, really liked it!
The pic complemented the post beautifully..:)
Nice work...
Keep writing!!

Chriz said...

bad daddy

Sowmi said...

Little gal's word is so so touchy Amal... loved it..

Gymnast said...

Trust me on this Amal , it was beautiful. ANd nice picture to go with it.

Rane (The Orchid with All Shades Pink) said...

Amal.. now what do i say.. you are blessed and this was a masterpiece.. !!

Sneha said...

My God! Its so touching.
nicely and well written.:)

Priya Joyce said...

A sad reality many families face...u said it well..
:)

Arv said...

I hoped that he didnt atleast for the lil gal's sake :(

sad :'( but well written :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Satyu
thanks a lot :)
take care :)

Amal Bose said...

@ अर्शिया अली
thanks :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Winnie the poohi
thanks for the comment
do drop in often :)

Amal Bose said...

@ mystish
hehe.. i just try it :)
thanks a lot for the kind works :)
take care :)

Amal Bose said...

@ slow processor
thanks :)
do drop in often :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Dhanya
thanks :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Ashwathy
thanks a lot Ashwathy
take care :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Aarthi
thanks :)
n ya im an Emma fan too ;)
take care

Amal Bose said...

@ Ki
thanks :)
ur stories are really awesome :)
take care

Amal Bose said...

@ Shravan
thanks a lot man :)

Amal Bose said...

@ damsel in distress
wow... i dont know wat to say.. im so honored to hav got such a feedback :)

heres my reply ;)
@ warm smile
well.. for me, no one is evil or anything..i dont hav villains in my stories.. its just that we hav our own things n it may hurt others.. in this case, they both love each other n thats it.. love can be cruel, i guess.. i tried to imply the purity of their love n ofcourse he was more free n happy with her.. though it might hav hurt others.. but thats life, isnt it?

@cool breeze,smilingly, teary... i agree, it couldve been better..

@little girl.. ur totally right.. right now im wondering why i didnt think of it.. it wudve been apt.

@ where is daddy going
i didnt totally get wat u meant, but the word limit restricted it a bit.. thats y

THANKS A TON FOR SUCH AN AWESOME COMMENT
its not bitchy at all... like i said above,i want u to help me improve. uve done exactly that..
thanks again :)
take care

Amal Bose said...

@ Fiducia
thanks a lot :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Chriz
:(
thanks for the feedback :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Sowmi
im glad tht u loved it...
thanks for the comment :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Gymnast
thanks a lot :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Rane
thanks Kajal for those kind words :)
take care :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Sneha
thanks sneha :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Priya
thanks :)
tc

Amal Bose said...

@ Arv
thats life ;)
thanks for the comment mate :)
keep smiling

swati said...

So touching Amal..u said it so beautiflly in so few words..n tat pic was so in sync wid the FFF.
Goodday!!

Amal Bose said...

@ swati
thanks a lot :)
good day to u too
take care

Devil Incarnate... said...

WOW..! Beautiful... though sad..
each emotion has been so nicely potrayed in those few lines...

Amal Bose said...

thanks a lot :)
tc

WarmSunshine said...

hi amal...

here after a log time... sorry for the absence.. lovely post dear and i love the look of your blog. it looks wonderful...

keep up the good work!

ANWESA said...

poignant!!!

Aniket said...

A great plot man.

But I agree with what all was said by 'Damsel in Distress' too. And its great to see you taking critical comments in a good stride. Thats what makes us better writer's, right? :)

'Smilingly' stands out as a sore thumb in an otherwise superb story.

Keep up the good work.

Destiny's child... said...

Beautiful...I just love the way you have judiciously used the words here. Just amazing...!

A S said...

beautifulllll

loved it...very touching..in such cases, kids are the worst hit :(

Saurabh said...

This one was Brilliant !

But, where were u sir, all these days?

Amal Bose said...

@ WarmSunshine
thanks a lot for both ;)
take care

Amal Bose said...

@ ANWESA
thanks for dropping bye :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Aniket
yeah.. definitely. thats wat makes us better
thanks for comment :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Destiny's child...
thanks :)

Amal Bose said...

@ Aditi
yeah.. its hard for the kids as well :(

Amal Bose said...

@ Saurabh
thanks buddy
i was kinda busy ;)

Diya said...

Is that all? :(

Aparna said...

Very touching. Felt so inadequate some how, can't express...we always end up hurting the children the most when a relationship sours.
Truly beautiful.

muthu said...

hmhm--

that was quite disturbing....

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

strong n short ..nice :)

Destiny's child... said...

No posts of late...whats up?

Amal Bose said...

@ Diya
its a 55 fiction.. ;)

Amal Bose said...

@ Aparna
the word restriction was the reason..
thanks for the comment :)

Amal Bose said...

@ muthu
thanks for d feedback :)

lena said...

just few words and so many emotions... wondering what would be the answer for the child..
one of the best 55 fiction i read lately :)

Amal Bose said...

@ k.ø.c.h.ü
thanks :)

Amal Bose said...

@ lena
thanks a lot lena :)

Little Girl Lost said...

hi amal...that was so touching...
:)
i'm back on blogger. will be more regular now.

Insignia said...

Heiyya,

First time here. This piece just hit me hard. Cant explain. you have labeled it under Fiction.

But such incidents do happen.

Beautiful. I am going to read the rest of your posts :-)

SHWETHA said...

Wow!! very touching one!!
really impressive....
good work!

Joomblo said...

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Shravan | ശ്രവണ്‍ said...

you have something to accept from here.

Quest said...

No updates??? Exam time??

Shravan | ശ്രവണ്‍ said...

you are awarded here. come take it soon.

I am Alive said...

Simply beautiful. So short but still so precise... Amazing short story

Hemanth Potluri said...

some times questions cannot have an effective ans...but the question will have many meaning's...

urs..hemu..

Science Bloggers Association said...

Nice Blog. Congrats.
-Zakir Ali ‘Rajnish’
{ Secretary-TSALIIM & SBAI }
[Editor- Children’s Poem & Adult’s Poem]

Ashwadhy said...

I really enjoy these few lines, those that manage to say it all in just a few words. Simply brilliant. Would love to try it sometime.

Thomas Koipuram said...

The kids mom is the guys assistant. She did not a very important work that he told her to do. So he come in talked rudely and went out.

The lady waiting outside was his wife . :)