He slammed the door shut and stormed out. A warm smile waited for him outside. All his sorrows died away and a cool breeze swept through his heart. Smilingly he got into the cab with her.
Peeking through the bedroom window, a small girl asked a teary pair of eyes
"Where is daddy going, mamma?"
75 comments:
Wow Amal
Beautiful Post...with full of emotions :)
Liked it:)
Esp..
the little gal words were very touching :)
Nice work Amal :)
Takecare
keep smiling :)
Awesome!
how do you people do it??!! i always need/want/ought to have one thousand words to express the littlest of things.. and here you are, you and a few others- champions of brevity!! where do they teach you this?? ;)
excellent post amal!
hugs
After a long time..
:-)
This was superb..
Wow... short but hard hitting! :-o
omg!! that one hit straight home...!
heart-rendingly well written!
That was really touching Amal...
Saw the sketch of Emma Watson! :)Wow! :)
Oh wow! I need to seriously work on my stories, you're FANTASTIC! :D
amal.. that is one superb work.. loved it.. and visual of that small girl.. man, trust me i saw it !
well done..blah blah blah..
the term warm smile was inappropriate,i think. warm...she is taking a father away from a daughter-i sorta pictured a sautan there..a villainous char..you gave her an aura of warmness..that dint fit
cool breeze- should have been better..the coolness should've settled down somehow..the breeze signifies momentary relaxing..
smilingly..entho oru problem..
teary..also..i wonder-little girl or small girl-wch is better??
a straight qn-where is daddy going..maybe you shld've tried a little bit emotion there with punctuation..
but i guess with 55 word fiction you are limited with words right?but nevertheless,as everyone said-the post hit the heart!!
but still..YOU can do way better.
is this bitchy enough??:P nah..i was honest kay..
:)
That hit me real hard, dude!!!
The girl's question was open-ended...
Nice style of writing, really liked it!
The pic complemented the post beautifully..:)
Nice work...
Keep writing!!
bad daddy
Little gal's word is so so touchy Amal... loved it..
Trust me on this Amal , it was beautiful. ANd nice picture to go with it.
Amal.. now what do i say.. you are blessed and this was a masterpiece.. !!
My God! Its so touching.
nicely and well written.:)
A sad reality many families face...u said it well..
:)
I hoped that he didnt atleast for the lil gal's sake :(
sad :'( but well written :)
@ Satyu
thanks a lot :)
take care :)
@ अर्शिया अली
thanks :)
@ Winnie the poohi
thanks for the comment
do drop in often :)
@ mystish
hehe.. i just try it :)
thanks a lot for the kind works :)
take care :)
@ slow processor
thanks :)
do drop in often :)
@ Dhanya
thanks :)
@ Ashwathy
thanks a lot Ashwathy
take care :)
@ Aarthi
thanks :)
n ya im an Emma fan too ;)
take care
@ Ki
thanks :)
ur stories are really awesome :)
take care
@ Shravan
thanks a lot man :)
@ damsel in distress
wow... i dont know wat to say.. im so honored to hav got such a feedback :)
heres my reply ;)
@ warm smile
well.. for me, no one is evil or anything..i dont hav villains in my stories.. its just that we hav our own things n it may hurt others.. in this case, they both love each other n thats it.. love can be cruel, i guess.. i tried to imply the purity of their love n ofcourse he was more free n happy with her.. though it might hav hurt others.. but thats life, isnt it?
@cool breeze,smilingly, teary... i agree, it couldve been better..
@little girl.. ur totally right.. right now im wondering why i didnt think of it.. it wudve been apt.
@ where is daddy going
i didnt totally get wat u meant, but the word limit restricted it a bit.. thats y
THANKS A TON FOR SUCH AN AWESOME COMMENT
its not bitchy at all... like i said above,i want u to help me improve. uve done exactly that..
thanks again :)
take care
@ Fiducia
thanks a lot :)
@ Chriz
:(
thanks for the feedback :)
@ Sowmi
im glad tht u loved it...
thanks for the comment :)
@ Gymnast
thanks a lot :)
@ Rane
thanks Kajal for those kind words :)
take care :)
@ Sneha
thanks sneha :)
@ Priya
thanks :)
tc
@ Arv
thats life ;)
thanks for the comment mate :)
keep smiling
So touching Amal..u said it so beautiflly in so few words..n tat pic was so in sync wid the FFF.
Goodday!!
@ swati
thanks a lot :)
good day to u too
take care
WOW..! Beautiful... though sad..
each emotion has been so nicely potrayed in those few lines...
thanks a lot :)
tc
hi amal...
here after a log time... sorry for the absence.. lovely post dear and i love the look of your blog. it looks wonderful...
keep up the good work!
poignant!!!
A great plot man.
But I agree with what all was said by 'Damsel in Distress' too. And its great to see you taking critical comments in a good stride. Thats what makes us better writer's, right? :)
'Smilingly' stands out as a sore thumb in an otherwise superb story.
Keep up the good work.
Beautiful...I just love the way you have judiciously used the words here. Just amazing...!
beautifulllll
loved it...very touching..in such cases, kids are the worst hit :(
This one was Brilliant !
But, where were u sir, all these days?
@ WarmSunshine
thanks a lot for both ;)
take care
@ ANWESA
thanks for dropping bye :)
@ Aniket
yeah.. definitely. thats wat makes us better
thanks for comment :)
@ Destiny's child...
thanks :)
@ Aditi
yeah.. its hard for the kids as well :(
@ Saurabh
thanks buddy
i was kinda busy ;)
Is that all? :(
Very touching. Felt so inadequate some how, can't express...we always end up hurting the children the most when a relationship sours.
Truly beautiful.
hmhm--
that was quite disturbing....
strong n short ..nice :)
No posts of late...whats up?
@ Diya
its a 55 fiction.. ;)
@ Aparna
the word restriction was the reason..
thanks for the comment :)
@ muthu
thanks for d feedback :)
just few words and so many emotions... wondering what would be the answer for the child..
one of the best 55 fiction i read lately :)
@ k.ø.c.h.ü
thanks :)
@ lena
thanks a lot lena :)
hi amal...that was so touching...
:)
i'm back on blogger. will be more regular now.
Heiyya,
First time here. This piece just hit me hard. Cant explain. you have labeled it under Fiction.
But such incidents do happen.
Beautiful. I am going to read the rest of your posts :-)
Wow!! very touching one!!
really impressive....
good work!
I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
BTopsites.com
you have something to accept from here.
No updates??? Exam time??
you are awarded here. come take it soon.
Simply beautiful. So short but still so precise... Amazing short story
some times questions cannot have an effective ans...but the question will have many meaning's...
urs..hemu..
I really enjoy these few lines, those that manage to say it all in just a few words. Simply brilliant. Would love to try it sometime.
The kids mom is the guys assistant. She did not a very important work that he told her to do. So he come in talked rudely and went out.
The lady waiting outside was his wife . :)
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